im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize