unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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