There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
