hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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