Don't you send me to vm
I need help removing her.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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