I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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