Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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