You're completely useless in the revolution.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
