Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
