How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
