..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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