Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
