I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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