She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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