I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
