Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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