When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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