If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
