if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize