I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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