soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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