i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
