Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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