U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
