he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry about my life...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
