I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
