just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
