Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
