I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
