Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
