We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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