How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
