he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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