you mean i was at the winter classic?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
