everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
