I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize