happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
