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• (512): View more from Texas

  3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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• (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm on page 4.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im on beer infinity

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.

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• (909): View more from California

  omg i wish you could see the front of my car.

  (909): View more from California

  There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  21 new emails...yikes

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• (585): View more from New York

  When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  it's a shower with the lights off kind of day

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