Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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