i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
