is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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