I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
