Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
