This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She told me I should be a condom model.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
