i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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