I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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