come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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