Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize