I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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