you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
