I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
