this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
