We're facebook friends in real life
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
