im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
