Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize