haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize