kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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