I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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