There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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