ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize