gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
