i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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