ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
