Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Everything about him screamed your future.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
