M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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