My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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