man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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