Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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