Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
