i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So much rum. So many feels.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
