We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
