I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
